seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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