i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
