she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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