the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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