My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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