I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
