does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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