if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
