I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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