Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize