just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
