my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
