been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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