This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
