It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ladies don't puke and tell
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
