i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
third nipple confirmed
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
