I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
