Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
