I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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