just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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