he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you will always have a special place in my vag
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
