Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
