North Korea, Best Korea!
wanna go halves on a baby?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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