I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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