Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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