soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
