I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
