I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
