Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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