Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize