Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize