So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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