My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she pinky promised me she was 18
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sorry about my life...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Randomize
