What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
