Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize