Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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