Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
