Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
