She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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