She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
