the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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