is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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