aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
