Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
