I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize