I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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