I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
