She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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