I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
