I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
