No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
