At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
