yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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