he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize