Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
