Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
