I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
